The Sunday Chronicles

(AP) – Since discovering the Higgs boson last week, particle physicists have made room for an influx of hepatologists eager to smash hepatocytes into each other at 99.9999991% of the speed of light.  Said one, “It would be remarkable if we could gather up all the Mallory hyaline, compact it into a big ball, and see if it tastes like Corona.  That would have huge implications, on par with the Higgs.”

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